House Rules: Avoid Trouble

"It is to a man's honor to avoid trouble." Proverbs 20:3

From a previous post, some of you have asked me about our other house rules, so I'm going to be sharing those with you. This verse is rule number 3: Avoid trouble/be a peacemaker

Oh man - we've had some "trouble" at our house! My oldest, who is 9, just got over her two weeks grounding. We've never grounded before so we wanted to make sure we did this first one right!! Two weeks - where basically the only thing she was allowed to do was eat, sleep and go to school --- plus added chores.

The thing is --- she did not avoid trouble, she choose to roll around in it! The history is this:

A little boy that has a crush on her (who has his own cell phone - which is VERY common at that age around here, but not for my 9 yr old --- story for another post) calls our house very frequently. He has already asked her to go to the movies, with his dad as chaperon. This is ACTUALLY the second boy that has called our house this year, 3rd grade, who has asked my daughter to the movies. She knows that 1) we don't have boyfriends at this age 2) we definitely don't go on "dates" at this age. To me, everything is settled - no boyfriend, no dates.

Let's fast forward a few days. Here's what happened next:

We were to meet some friends at a bounce/jumpy place for the kids to play. Saturday morning, the phone rings and it's this little boy for my daughter. The TV is loud and she's holding her ear - so she walks off into another room. She gets off the phone and starts the count down until we go to the jumpy place. When we arrive, she is super eager to get out of the car --- even wanting me to drop her off. I KNOW you can guess where this is headed!

Yep, I'm walking into the jumpy place and this stranger, a man, comes up to me and says, "Well, it looks like our little monkeys scheduled a play date." I think he is off his rocker and has me confused with someone else. I kinda grin an hurriedly walk on, but he keeps talking. Then, I realize that this man is the dad of the little boy that calls my house all the time. Savannah agreed not to go to the movies with this little boy (to avoid "trouble") - but she arranged a "date" at the jumpy place. If a cartoon artist had been watching this scene unfold - he would have had a blast drawing my reaction because I am CONFIDENT steam was coming out of my ears!

Savannah was terrified. She could not stop crying and I was trying to discern if it was true remorse OR the guilt of being caught! During her "woe as me - I'm not worthy to play here" attitude - the little boy's dad had scrammed (assuring me his son had a cell phone and could reach him if needed) and I was left with my three and an extra kid I'd never meet before. My words to Savannah were, "I'm glad that you don't feel like playing, because you shouldn't! But you drug (little boy) into this and you are not going to be mean to him now. You had better play long and hard today because this is the LAST time you are going to play anything for a LOOOONG time!!!"

Whew - the joys of parenting. And, I'm leaving out about 1,000 other things that went wrong that day in the parenting world! So, we will just leave it at that:)

Savannah DID NOT avoid trouble. She knew the rules. She knows right and wrong - and when we do right, we are honored in God's eyes. When we do wrong we are punished.

My thoughts for you today --- pray for your kids to AVOID TROUBLE and pray that IF they DO NOT avoid trouble --- that they get caught in their sin. I told a group of teenage girls last summer in a Bible Study I was teaching that I knew their parents and I knew that some of their parents where praying that they get caught in their sin. For the first time all night - every girl in the room paid attention.

But it's true - we can't put our heads in the sand. We need to be aware of sin and temptations in our OWN lives, as parents. We need to avoid trouble. We need to set boundaries for ourselves and our children in order to avoid trouble. Listen, I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but letting little kids go on "dates" is NOT cute. No wonder they have sex at 12, they are going on dates at 9! Most things in life are a progression. If you date at 9 you progress towards sex much quicker (I wish I could put my hands on the stats to prove it - they are somewhere around this house!). In so many ways, as parents, we are setting our kids up for trouble. And, we are not setting boundaries so that trouble can be avoided.

Remember Proverbs 20:3 - what can you do to 1) set up boundaries for yourself so that you can avoid trouble and 2) set up boundaries for your children ----- so maybe they won't be grounded for two weeks.

More House Rules next time.........

Intentional Relationships

“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

Some of you might know that I recently went to Alaska to lead a Ladies Retreat. What an AWESOME experience! I was so honored to attend and God did amazing things. The ladies were wonderful:)

On my way there from Tennessee – I was able to have a layover in Seattle and spend some time with a precious friend. She was our youth pastor’s wife and they moved to Nashville back in 2003 to be on our church staff. And, about 6 months ago moved to Seattle to be church planters.
But, the day our church hired Greg as our Youth Pastor and we accepted him into our congregation - I did not immediately become best friends with Shelly, his wife. I met her. We were pleasant and said hello. Probably hugged, because I’m just a hugger that way. But we weren’t BFF’s! That took time. It took me calling her. She asking me to lunch. Me watching her children and vice versa. It was an intentional process. And now – with her moving; I can’t drop a note in her mailbox on my way to Target anymore --- she lived right by the best Target in town! But with our distance – we are still just as close as ever because we are determined to be intentional about our friendship.

Why can we be intentional about developing relationships with earthly friends? Yet, we have a Father in heaven, who sits on a throne – willing to give us the desires of our hearts (Ps. 37:4) and often we hardly give Him a second glance.

Our God is a God that can be known. He is a God that can be found. He is a God that wants to be close to us. That’s why He is called Immanuel, which means “God with us.” But He draws close to us as we draw close to Him (James 4:8).

God wants us to want Him. And after we have made Him our Savior - why do so many "Christians" just stop there? They may attend church occassionally --- or to me, I think worse yet --- attend every week, but their personal relatioship with Christ never deepens. The reality is - God WANTS us to want Him, but we don't. We don't WANT Him, plain and simple. We are not willing to be intentional in our relationship.

This deep and intimate relationship with God that we often "say" we desire and can’t live without – doesn’t just happen. It must be sought after, prayed for, nurtured, and treasured. And we must continually seek after, pray for, nurture and treasure it.

So, are you "saying" it OR are you "doing" it? Do you sit in church, week after week and think - "I wish I knew Christ more." OR are you seeking Him? Do you know where you Bible is? Have you prayed today?

Since I got back from Alaska, I must say Guilty As Charged!! I got in at 1AM on a Monday and jumped right back into life. I had a week of more speaking, meetings, school, church and sports activites awaiting me. It's taken a few days to get back into the swing of really studying His Word.

It's not easy. I'm a Bible teacher for heaven's sake and it's not easy for me --- so no finger pointing on this end! I'm just wanting you to think about your motives - your thoughts and actions. It's one thing to say, "I need to loose weight." It's another to change your diet and exercise.

Don't loose heart. If your Bible's gotten a little dusty - just make today the day you dust it off. No matter how long it's been --- if we call to Him, He will answer. I know that I could use some insight on some "great and mighty things". How about you?

The Church Needs The Orphan

"Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise," says the LORD. "I will protect them from those who malign them." Psalm 12:5

I'm not sure what the Lord is trying to tell me..... Well, I know what He is trying to tell me. He's telling me to get off my "bum" and help the needy!!!! But, for years I've been praying, "To what degree are You calling me and my family to 'help'?" And that's all I've done - just prayed and sat here on my "bum" waiting for Him to put a Neon Sign over my head with specific instructions.

I've been convicted over the years that God's Word SPECIFICALLY states that it is the responsibility of Christians (the church) to help the oppressed and the orphan. My heart has ached for underprivileged children since I was a teenager. I make jokes about how I will NEVER be able to take a mission trip for fear of not be able to minister to anyone because all I will do is 1) cry and 2) try to cram as many kids as I can into my duffel bag to take home with me!!

I have a precious quote from a "blogger" friend of mine named Lorie. I feel that we share the same heart in Spirit --- but she has adopted several children from overseas. Please read her words about the orphan and the church as she talk about her sweet daughter, Grace.

"I look at those pitiful pictures of an emaciated baby who was abandoned.... I can hardly believe it's my Grace. So many people see those old pictures and say, Oh how lucky she is to have you all as a family. The opposite is really the truth. We needed Grace- perhaps more than she needed us.

That's the strange thing about orphans that I don't think most Christians, or churches, understand. Yes, the orphan needs the church-- no doubt. But, the church needs the orphan. With our high-tech worship services and our multi-million dollar worship centers, the church needs to remember where they came from... we were all orphaned once.

The church needs the orphan... perhaps more than the orphan needs the church. Think about it...."

WOW - what a wonderful thought that she has challenged us (me!) with:) So, the question is: what are we doing? Are you sitting on your "bum" like I have been?

My ministry Speaking Thru Me, has recently partnered with Compassion International and I'm finally stepping out into action and sponsoring a child. Her name is Rachael, she lives in an Aids infected area in Kenya. She's only four years old --- and a smile that would light up a room.

Part of me says --- but this is only 1! Am I making a difference over 1? Matthew 25:40 says, “Whatever you have done unto one of the least of these, my brothers, you have done it to Me.”

My friend Lorie would answer, "So, does saving one child really matter in the big picture? After all, there are 145 million orphans worldwide. Saving one doesn’t even put a dent in that statistic. But, my God is not a God of statistics. He is personal and He is close to the poor and the orphaned. So close in fact, that He actually becomes the poor when we minister to them. Look again at Matthew 25:40. “Whatever you have done unto one….” Yes, one does matter."

I have listed various opportunities for you to pray about how God would lead you to save, just one.

http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm?referer=98442

http://www.freshair.org/

http://www.holtinternational.org/

http://worldorphans.com/

Are You A Joy?

"Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden." Hebrews 13:7

We have very few rules at our house. As a matter of fact - I only have 5 written on the side of our refrigerator door. Instead of a long list of: don't hit, don't run, don't color on the walls, don't sit on the dog, don't lick your dad's glasses (yes - I have had to literally say the last two "do not's" to my son!) don't..... whatever the case may be, I've tried to focus on the heart issues.

One of those issues and rule number 4 is Be Respectful. Under Be Respectful I have the above verse listed (for each short rule I have one related verse).

Well, this verse has been written and said MANY times in the last few weeks at our house. My oldest daughter is really struggling with immediate obedience and respecting authority. I guess a pet-peeve of mine is someone rolling their eyes. Even if I see another child do that it takes everything in me to not shout, "Excuse me?".

But, I'm learning that I need to make this verse into a prayer and not just something that I make Savannah write 20 times for poor behavior so that it will sink into her brain! I want this to sink into her heart. AND --- why do I always tend to think - "Oh, this verse is for the kids." Isn't it for me, too? Am I a joy? YIKES! A lot of times --- no, I'm not.

I've always had the fear that one of my children would be the dreaded child of his/her class. You know - the one where if that particular child is absent the teacher does a little happy dance. Maybe you were that child once --- maybe you have one now and you know it! Even worse, maybe you don't know it!! Maybe you are a teacher who did the happy dance this week. Or, maybe you are a Mom with a list of rules for your kids that you don't always follow yourself.

So, let's do a heart check together. Are you (not your kids) - you, are you a joy? When you go to work are others glad to see you? Do you give your supervisor lip on occasion or possibly roll your eyes? Are you quick to obey those in authority over you? Are you quick to obey God?

Yes - this verse is a great verse for our kids. But first, let's pray this for ourselves so that our kids can see us live this our first hand.

Have You Gotten Your Hands Dirty?

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..." Romans 1:16

On our pantry door in the kitchen we have two large dry erase calendars. For the month of January - as odd as this sounds, I was too busy to even stop and fill it out!! Which - was not good, I was a mess all month! So, last week I made it a point to stop and fill out the calendar for Feb., March and even part of April.

The Lord has blessed me with many speaking opportunities between now and April (in addition to teaching opportunities at my own church) and my older daughter noticed my schedule. She asked me, "Mom, are you a missionary?" I said, "Why do you ask that?" She replied, "Well, I saw your calendar and you sure are going a lot of places to tell people about Jesus." I thought for a moment and said, "I never thought about it that way, but I guess I am." Which led us to a discussion of how you don't have to live in Africa to be a missionary or be a witness for Christ.

But to be honest with you --- it's really easy for me to travel, stand in front of tons of people I don't know and proclaim Christ. I love it --- and I really prefer it! You see, when the rubber hits the road - I am ashamed of the gospel.

What??? You might be thinking! How can you be ashamed, especially when you are teaching it??? Well, the answer to that is this: I don't like to get my hands dirty. It's easy for me to teach to 100's of people from a distance, BUT to develop a relationship with someone who is not a Christian or who is not living a lifestyle for Christ or who has a background of drugs or who has difficult family circumstances ---- to have get to know the good, the bad and the ugly that comes along with relationships - I don't want to get my hands dirty. I can write you a check - but I don't want to know you.

Sound harsh? It is - and it's not pretty, but if I told you anything different it would just be a lie!

Thank the LORD, he brought this attitude of the heart to my attention. And - as I have been praying for opportunities to minister, to get my hands dirty, He has been faithful to provide. They have all been baby steps for me (kinda like I mentioned in my Perfectionist post). Here is a quick examples:

At Christmas time - one of our staff asked my if our new "Newly Married" Sunday School Class that my husband and I teach would be willing to help a family in need. Well - who doesn't want to help a family in need at Christmas! So I said, of course;) I intended to go back to the class, take up money, get a few gifts and call it quits. After all - isn't that what we all do at Christmas? Do the majority of people REALLY get to know the family they are ministering too?

Our staff had other plans --- before even collecting the first dime, Russ and I were to go over and visit the family. So - we squeezed it in our schedule some how all the while I was still looking at this as something to scratch off my "to do" list.

We met a Great Aunt and Great Uncle who were raising four children. The kids ranged in ages from 5 - 12 years old. The oldest - a boy, immediately became Russ' best friend. The girls drug me all over the house showing me things. These kids were starving for some extra attention. Their Great Aunt and Uncle love them and are doing the best they can --- but they have a hard life. By the time we left - I was moved to tears and couldn't believe that I had been so reluctant to visit. We invited them to church and they came! Not only did they come - but Russ and I have acquired 4 new kids to sit with at church. We've picked them up from class, we've gone to their ball games --- we look forward to seeing them each week.

Sometimes when I'm sitting with them in church - I try to hold back the tears, but I can't (I'm sure the kids think I'm crazy). I just want to "fix" them! All their hurts, all their confusion, all their finances --- I just want it fixed. I can't "fix" them, but I can offer them salvation through Christ.

I am just the missionary called to not be ashamed of the gospel. And to share His love with every hug, with every high five and in every conversation. Ultimately, this family is His. And, I will praise Him and thank Him for this very spacial opportunity to get outside my comfort zone and get my hands dirty.

Purse Winner

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You can check out her personal blog at http://hgpreston.blogspot.com/

For The Life Of Your Little Ones

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“Pour out your heart like water before the presence of the Lord; lift up your hands to Him for the life of your little ones.” Lamentations 2:19

Well, I did it! I took my “baby steps” on perfectionism and I DID NOT purchase Jamison an “I’m the Birthday Boy” shirt for his party on Monday night. I did not even put him in a polo, button down or anything that was really even nice for that matter! I let him wear one of his favorite sweat suits. YES – a sweat suit! Surprisingly, the world did not stop spinning.

You know ---- I spend a lot of time stressing about my kids. And, most of the time over silly things. Think like - how Jamison will look for his birthday party. And, sometimes over medium silly things like - is Savannah really prepared for her Science test? And, occasionally serious things like – is Cassidy ready to make her decision to follow Christ?

But, until recently – I spent more time stressing and less time praying. I LOVE the verse above – how beautiful is that??!! I have it posted right here in front of my computer on my desk. It serves as a reminder for me to stop stressing and start praying. You would think that common “Christian” sense would make you know to pray for your kids – specifically and often. But, I must say guilty as charged on that one sometimes! I have to especially work at the specific part. I told my Ladies Ministry Team at church recently that I am the queen of blanket prayers. Do you know what that means? Saying things like, “Father, forgive me for all my sins.” Or “Lord, be with my children today.” Just saying simple things --- and not putting forth the effort to get down to the nitty gritty.

This is an area that I have been trying to work on for some time now. I have in NO WAY arrived, but I can tell a change not only in the relationship with my children – but also in my relationship with Christ.

Two things that I pray specifically for is that: 1) our children will have a LOVE for the Lord and His Word and 2) our children will be obedient to God’s call in their life and serve Him in ministry. Now – you can be a nurse and still serve Him in ministry. What a calling! You don’t have to be a missionary in Africa to be in ministry. BUT – I want my children to understand that whatever job God has called them to – it is a ministry. Something that God uniquely designed only for them to do for His glory.


I also say a prayer for me as a parent that I will see how He is molding my children and also be obedient to encourage them in their calling. For example, Jamison loves his Bible. He hugs it, holds it and even asks to sleep with it! Well, at first I thought about how the pages might rip if he sleeps with it. Or if he leaves it laying out the dog could chew the corners! This was his baby dedication Bible and I don't really want it torn to shreds!!! But then, God had me to look at this situation in terms of "eternity". If I restrict Jamison from using his Bible and say that's only for Sunday --- what am I teaching him? Is it that big of a deal if a Bible is tattered and worn?? No! I think God knows that that kind of Bible is really the best kind. One that is used. One with the pages taped together. One with scribbles on the pages from a toddler who wants to read and write in their Bible like they see their Mommy and Daddy do. I've decided that that kind of Bible --- it is a keeper far better than one in perfect condition.




Inside I laugh at how I can see Savannah as a missionary to China, Cassidy adopting 10 kids and Jamison being a preacher (and I have the photo to show for!). Only time will tell where God leads them, but I can’t wait to share with them how I poured out my heart, like water before the presence of the Lord; lifting my hands to Him for the choices they will make.